sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
