I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
