Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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