yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
