Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
