trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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