I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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