By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Randomize
