she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She's the barista slut.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
