? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
