you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Are we still banned from the library?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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