Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
