so that wasnt chicken after all
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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