yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
