College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
