He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
