White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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