Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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