yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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