he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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