Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
