sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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