And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
