i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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