how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
