either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
