What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
