He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
