Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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