I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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