first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
