his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
