it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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