I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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