He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
