I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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