I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
