we're blogging at a bar
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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