she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
