dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I love you.
Bad choice
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
