You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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