you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize