So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
