I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
