so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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