So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
