We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
