so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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