Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
