I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize