I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
only you would photoshop your dick
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
