The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
