good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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