My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
